Fairytale of New York
by UFOhelena
Summary: Slash AndrewJustin. It's Christmas and Andrew is going to New York to find Justin and ask for his forgiveness.


**Fairytale of New York**

I couldn't help but to wonder how I had come up with that absolutely and completely stupid idea. He had said straight in my face that he never wanted to see me again. And yet here I was stalking him down.

It was fucking freezing. The train rolled in at the station eighteen to one, it was Christmas Eve. The station was all crowded with people running around, a mother was dragging her daughter who rather wanted to watch the full size dancing Santa Claus than to come along with her, "Please honey, we'll miss the train to grandma and grandpa". My grandparents wouldn't come and visit us in Fairview this year, and I was just glad about it. I knew it was my mum who had provoked them, but still it was them who turned away from me and took my money when they saw who I really was. And after mum threw mother Hodges out it would only be the four of us celebrating Christmas in a way too decorated house and more food than you'd need for a whole year. I stopped enjoying Christmas when I was a kid, all the decorations all over the house you weren't allowed to touch, weird food you had to eat just because it was Christmas and you couldn't play any tricks because then Santa wouldn't bring any toys. When I eventually 'got to know' about Santa I felt betrayed and begun hating Christmas even more. So I didn't have any hard feelings on leaving in the middle of the holiday celebration. But I didn't tell anyone, especially my mum would've done everything to stop me, I just left a note in my room which meant they wouldn't find it until they begun looking for me and I was far away. Foolish me had thought that it couldn't get any worse than to stay there celebrating 'perfect Christmas', but on the trip I had begun to actually understand what it was I was up to and wonder where the hell I could've gotten such a stupid idea from, this was a million times worse, there was a reason I hadn't gone after him earlier! I had found out that he'd gone to New York almost immediately after I came back. But I hadn't done anything about it, just sitting there and seen him disappear from my life.

I had managed to threaten John enough to tell me where I could find Justin. Justin wasn't going home for Christmas; probably his parents still didn't talk to him. Apparently he was working in some café near Central Park; he'd given me a street, no number. And he'd refused to give me Justin's number. "If you're going to apologize to him, and have the slightest chance of forgiveness you have to do it to his face." And I guess he was right. I looked at the map and found out that there were like 20 cafés on that street. Well, I deserve it, I thought and began to take visit them one by one. And of course I began in the wrong end, because it wasn't until I had visited 17 cafés and asked for a Justin I got lucky, well there had actually been a Justin working on one of the first one I visited, but yeah, wrong one. I didn't even have to ask, when I got in there he was just standing there in front of me and I couldn't understand it really was him. He was so much more beautiful than I'd allowed myself to remember. Totally focused on what he was doing he didn't pay me any attention until it was time for him to take my order.

"Yeah?" His eyes froze at the look of me.  
"Hi." He just stared at me not saying a word. "I wanna talk, please, just let me…" suddenly just turned around and walked away "…explain". I didn't know what to do, I had expected at least some kind of reaction. With no one serving a queue had started to build behind me. Then a woman came out, but instead of taking care of the costumers she started to yell at me.  
"What the hell did you do to upset Justin like that?" I was shocked.  
"Err…I just said I wanted to talk to him."  
"And who the hell are you?"  
"Andrew."  
"Andrew?"  
"I'm from Fairview."  
"Oh, you're _him_, aren't you?"  
"I guess…" She started the screaming again.  
"You have no right to come here after what you did to him." The people behind me were getting very anxious, but she didn't seem to care.  
"But I was gonna apologize to him."  
"You think you can just come here and apologize? We don't want you here! Just Leave!" The shock had left and now I was just really mad at this woman for interfering, who the hell did she think she was?  
"I am not going anyway, I'm gonna stay here until he listens to what I have to say, then I can go and leave him forever if that's what he wants." She got a bit calmer.  
"Don't you understand that he doesn't want to listen to what you have to say?"  
"But I just travelled across the whole country just to come here and talk to him."  
"He moved across the whole country just to get away from you, and all the pain you caused him."  
"I know I don't deserve another chance, he doesn't owe me a thing, but please it's Christmas."  
"Ok, sit down and I'll talk to him."

She had come back and said he was considering coming out. But I had to wait over an hour before I saw him come back out.  
"My shift is over, we can go out, and I will listen." But there wasn't a sign of a smile on his lips.  
"Ok." When we got out it was even more cold than it'd been before, I wasn't used to that cold climate I didn't own a jacket warm enough for that cold, and it hadn't struck myself to buy one. He stood in front on me and obviously he wanted me to begin. I don't know how many hours I had spent trying to come up with a good way to tell him how I really felt, but as I stood there in front of him I couldn't remember a thing.  
"Eh, Justin, I am so sorry for everything I've put you through." Justin didn't seem at all satisfied and I was shivering from the cold. "No one deserves to be treated like I did to you and I'll do anything to make up for it, if you just could find it in you heart to forgive me." I didn't think of the cold any longer.  
"Give me just one reason why you deserve to be forgiven."  
"Because I am sorry" Justin got furious.  
"If you knew how much I tried, every day to just stop loving you. I banned God for my incapacity to stop loving you. I hated that I loved you. I thought that after this time I didn't any more. But all I had to do was see you and it all hit me back, all memories and my complete devotion to you. I don't wanna go back there! Can't you understand that? I spent so much energy trying to forget. You have no right coming here and…" he looked as he was going to leave; I knew this was now or never, I had to finally say it.  
"But I…I love you." He froze in his movement, looking straight into my eyes.  
"You love me?"  
"Of course I do. How could I not? You are the most beautiful person I know. I'm so happy that once you actually loved me, and I hate myself for destroying what we had." I had decided not to cry, but now I could feel the tears burning, an I felt like such a dork. Justin said nothing. "I have, you know, never talked about my feeling like this." Silence. "Every day without you make my life look more pointless." I saw a small tear leave Justin's eye and flow down the cheek. "Please, I know I don't deserve a second chance, but I am begging you to give me one anyway." The tears on Justin's cheeks increased by number and I felt one leaving my eye and flow slowly flow down the cheek.  
"There is one part of me that wants nothing more than to just have you back, but the rest of me is scared to death that you will hurt me again. I couldn't cope that." He took one step closer. "I can't forgive you yet, but I can't live without you so that either, so…" I wiped off the tears on his cheeks with the back of my hand, he bent forward and sought my lips with his. It felt like I had been dead and Justin brought me back to life with his soft kiss. I wrapped my arms tightly around his body and so did he. The kiss lasted for and eternity, at least it felt like it.

When my lips parted form Justin's it struck me how incredibly cold it was and how my body was shaking. Justin also noticed.  
"My god, we have to get you inside." He took my hand and dragged me back into the café. He put me down by a table and went away and came back with hot coco with mini marshmallows. I started to drink it before Justin had time to stop me. I burnt my tongue, Justin begun to laugh.  
"Have you never learnt that you can't drink while it's hot?!"  
"No, my mum never serves anything that hasn't the _perfect_ temperature." Justin laughed even more.  
"So, that means you're back home again?"  
"Yeah, she came searching for me after a few months, I was too ashamed to go back and ask for forgiveness, but she came after me, I had never thought she would."  
"I tried to tell you all the time she loved you."  
"I know, but I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe you really loved me either, I thought I didn't deserve your love, well I still do."  
"You have to learn to trust people."  
"I guess…" There was a moment of silence before Justin spoke again, now sounding very serious.  
"You didn't run away, like your mother told me, right?"  
"No, I didn't, how'd you know?"  
"Because I know you Andrew and I guessed you'd finally gotten your _revenge_, and gotten your sorry ass kicked out."  
"True."  
"But what was it did you do to her?"  
"I don't think this is the best moment." Justin looked a bit offended.  
"If you wanna prove to me that you do deserve my love you better start being honest to me."  
"I know, but it's just…" Justin looked as he was going to leave which made me panic, "I slept with Peter!" I blurted out, realizing I had kind of shouted as all the guests in the café turned around looking at me strangely. And Justin was staring. "I didn't want you to know like this." He said nothing. "I don't even know why I did it, I was just so determined to make her suffer, it wasn't until after I realized what it was I had done to her and to you, and I promise you I feel so ashamed about it, I guess you hate me now." Strangely Justin begun to smile.  
"You are so stupid Andrew Van De Kamp, lucky you I couldn't hate you."  
"Really?! Not even after this."  
"You've done worse things than that, at least to told me the truth, that's what matter most to me. And yeah, how stupid it might be, I still love you…" I was going to kiss his cheek, but he turned his head and I 'missed' and got the lips instead.

"Do you think you could go back out now? It's not that far to my apartment."  
"Sure, now I'm warm again." He took my hand and we walked the streets of New York until we got to his apartment. It was really small but cosy, apparently he shared it with that girl who had been screaming at me in the café, Laura. Justin took a shower, I thought about going in and join him, but figured it could maybe be a little too soon. So I just lay by the really tiny TV and watched some god forsaken old movie in black and white. He came out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. Oh, my god, I thought, I had forgotten how great his body looked. Then he started to dry his hair with the towel, exposing all of him in his beauty. I was aware that I was staring, but I couldn't help it, he looked so beautiful. And his playful smile was the cutest I had ever seen. Then he just turned around and walked into the room whish I guessed was his bedroom. I followed him in and came up from behind closing my arms around his waist and kissing his neck. He giggled and sighed a little, then he turned around and met my lips with his. The kissing got rougher by the second and I grabbed his hips. But then suddenly he pulled away.  
"We can't do this now."  
"What? Why?"  
"You have to buy me an awfully expensive and romantic dinner first." God, how I loved that boy!  
"Get dressed and let's go then." He kissed me on the nose and then walked over to the drawer to find something to wear.

Justin had lent me a whole kit; scarf, cap, mittens and a jacket. I felt like I was dressed for going to the North pole, but as I got out I was grateful for every piece of clothe I was wearing, because I'm telling you, as cold as it was there it has never been on the North pole! As we walked there down the streets dressed from top to toe seeing all the decorations and holding hand it struck me how incredibly romantic it was. Justin was laughing and smiling and I felt like I couldn't get any happier. I hadn't brought that much money so we all I could come up with was a little shabby but very cute Chinese restaurant on a backstreet. The place was totally empty and the waiter got all exited to see there were some guests and really treated us like royalty. We ate ten small courses and it all tasted delicious, I couldn't hold my hands off of him, and neither could he, and we kept feeding one another, it wasn't expensive, but it sure as hell was romantic. When we were finished I was so full I couldn't have squeezed down another piece of food even if my life depended on it, Justin seemed to share the feeling. When we got back out on the street in had begun to snow. I had never seen snow for real before. I was so beautiful, all the flakes swirling against the black sky, glimmering like crystals. We were standing in the corner of two streets and I just felt the urge to pull him closer and kiss him. His sweet soft lips, I really couldn't understand how I had survived all those months without tasting them.

"You wanna ice skate?" Justin suddenly asked and pointed at a skating rink in the park."I don't know how to ice skate."  
"That's what I thought" he said and smiled his just too cute smile "I'll teach you". Justin dragged me over to the rental desk and got us two pairs of ice skates. Then he helped me tying them on and then after he did his, he helped me out on the ice.  
"Remember, it's like inlines just little more slippery." And slippery it was, all I had was to take a step out on the ice and I almost fell. But he was holding me tight and I was safe. After a while I almost managed to keep the balance all by myself.  
"Told you, it wasn't that hard." He said. I got very proud and straightened up, then I fell to the ice. Justin started to laugh, and as I understood it probably was a pretty fun sight, all I could do was to join in with his laughter. He helped me up and we begun skating again. After an hour I was very tired, Justin had went away and came back with hot chocolate. This time he was fast enough to stop me when I immediately wanted to taste the hot drink. Somewhere not far away a choir was singing _Oh Holy Night_ and for the first time in my life I felt that Christmas really was something beautiful.

It was almost midnight when we got back to the appartment. After having come out of all layers of clothes I threw myself exhausted on the couch.  
"If you're that tired, maybe it's no idea if we…" Justin said with a smirk.  
"I don't think so" I said and got up chasing him into the bedroom. I threw him on the bed and almost ripped his clothes in my violent attempts to get them off him. I kissed him everywhere. He was breathing heavily, and really seamed to love my treatment. Though the fabric of his boxers I could feel his hardness pulsing, I let it out and grabbed him. My hand slowly stroke him up and down feeling very single vein. My mouth wandered up his chest making a quick stop at the nipple then continued up the neck, licking it, biting it. Soft whimpers left him. Then he got on top of me and made his way down. He took all my length in his mouth. That was so great! His tongue played with the head and he was sucking me like a fucking candy Kane, it was wonderful. He turned over and begun licking me, and I tell you, that tongue of his really could do magic! I was moaning loud when I suddenly got to think about Justin's roommate Laura, I hoped for her sake that she wasn't in the next room. But then he slid in one of his fingers and I couldn't care less, I moaned out loud in pleasure. He slid in one more finger and eventually a third. I took the lube and made him ready to come in. I lay down on my stomach, he was on top and slowly he entered me.  
"Oh, god!" I moaned. He kissed my shoulders and neck. This is true love, I thought as I felt him thrusting into me. He did it slowly as he knew I loved. His body next to mine both wet from sweat. Then he begun going faster and I almost screamed as I came, Justin wasn't too quite either. Then we just lay there, he still on top of me, catching our breath totally exhausted.  
"I love you." I whispered.  
"I love you too." It really was a _holy night_!

Then I guess I must've fallen asleep, because the next thing it was morning. Justin had his strong arms closely wrapped around me. It was Christmas morning, by far the best in my life. I suddenly felt an urge to go to the bathroom, I crawled out of his embrace, he still slept like a baby, and got up. As I was heading back to the bed a phone stared to ring, after looking a while I found it was Justin's cell. The display said: ADRIAN. I can't say I really thought much, I just answered it.  
"Justin's phone, it's Andrew." There was just silence. "Hello?" I was just about to hang up when a voice said.  
"Andrew?"  
"Yeah, I'm a friend of Justin's. He's sleeping, but if it's important I can wake him up."  
"You are that Andrew, from Fairview, right?"  
"That's correct, and who are you?"  
"I'm Adrian, Justin's _boyfriend_." I'm amazed I didn't die where I stood.  
"What?!"  
"So, he hasn't mentioned me?"  
"You bet he hasn't!" I screamed, I was completely so furious.  
"How do you dare contact him again after what you did to him!" He was also screaming.  
"He's forgiven me!"  
"He's forgiven you?"  
"Yeah, that's right!"  
"You're a liar!"  
"I can put him on and let him tell you about the magnificent sex we had last night!" He hung up which in some way made me feel victorious!  
"Why are you screaming" A very tired Justin was standing in the door stand.  
"You'd like to know that, don't you?" He looked really confused.  
"What's wrong with you?"  
"Oh, I am perfectly fine! I just had a lovely chat with ADRIAN!" He got pale.  
"Oh!"  
"Yeah, that's the least you could say! He's apparently claming to be you BOYFRIEND!"  
"Andrew, I can explain…"  
"Don't bother. Do you think I'm fucking STUPID?! I understand that you wanted to see other people after I let you down. And I perfectly understand that he fell for you. What I don't understand is that in the whole day you couldn't get yourself to tell me that you had a boyfriend. You said that truth's all that matters, and still you said nothing about that fucking Adrian!"  
"Andrew, I'm so sorry, I didn't know how to."  
"Were you even serious when you said you wanted to get back together? Or was this just a game for you. Your chance for some quality sex when you boyfriend was away, is he that bad!?" Now it was Justin who got furious, I had never seen him this mad before.  
"You asshole! Who do you think you are? After all you put me through!"  
"You forgave me! Remember?!"  
"Clearly I made a big mistake! You haven't changed a bit!" I clenched my fist, he must've noticed.  
"You don't wanna do that!"  
"Why?"  
"Because you know how hard I can beat you back, and this time I won't bother if I mess up you face!"  
"And you know how much I can take!" We stood there just staring at each other, my whole body was pumping adrenaline, I had never been so angry in my entire life. Then I couldn't stay there a second longer.  
"So, fine I'm out of here. You cheap lousy liar!"  
"Oh good! You fucking ass!"  
"I never wanna see you again!"  
"Good!" I picked my stuff and got out making sure to slam the door very hard! I hadn't even bothered to put my clothes on so I got dressed in the stairs. Then I got out. I had no jacket, it wasn't as cold as the day before, but it was raining. There was sleet which made the streets grey, and I got soaking wet on my way back to the train station.


End file.
